


My Only Weakness Is Vodka

by vktrnkfrv



Series: Spiderling [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drunk Peter Parker, Gen, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter is a Little Shit, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 16:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19908415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vktrnkfrv/pseuds/vktrnkfrv
Summary: At a party, Peter sees how many drinks he can down before he passes out.





	My Only Weakness Is Vodka

**Author's Note:**

> This happened anywhere between the end of Homecoming and Infinity War.

Peter walked down the street. There was a party happening at someone’s house. It was a Friday night, a night were there was a lot of crime in Queens. But May had banned Peter from superhero-ing. Peter had came in late one night, too late. Close to four in the morning. May was not impressed, Peter remembers her telling him to hop in the shower and he was to hand his suit into her. The only reason why Peter was out was because he was having an apparent ‘Star Wars marathon’ at Ned’s house. But instead, the pair snuck out and were heading down to a party. 

“How cool is this?” Ned exclaimed with a spring in his step. “We never get invited to parties, and here we are.” 

Peter said nothing and put his hands into his jacket pocket, it was cold outside. Very cold. Peter had more layers on than normal. Spiders didn’t regulate heat, so one of the down falls from being bitten by a radioactive spider, was feeling the cold more than the normal person. He had about several layers on. A singlet, a long sleeve, a t shirt, a hoodie and then a thick jacket on top. He looked like a marshmallow. Someone could probably punch him in the stomach and he wouldn’t feel a thing. 

The pair were a couple of blocks out from the party. Peter could already hear the music, if the music was that loud, it was going to be a long night. Peter was thankful Spiderman didn’t have to make an appearance this evening. But that didn’t stop Peter from taking his suit from his Aunt’s closet and pulling it in the bottom of his bag back at Ned’s house. 

The rounded the corner and they were faced with the house. The lights were all on, and Ned and Peter could see the silhouette of people. 

“This is so cool!” Ned exclaimed and started bouncing in excitement. 

Peter said nothing and quietly made it up to the front door. The party was pretty boring. Peter spent half of his time trying not to trip over people and trying to help Ned out who had a little too much to drink.

“You need to try one.” Ned picked up his fifth drink of the night. And as it happened, it was a shot of vodka. “You won’t regret it.” 

Peter didn’t really like giving into peer pressure. Nor did he like drinking, he thought it tasted like nail polish remover. It wasn’t nice. But he had never really felt a buzz, either he could handle his alcohol or his metabolism burnt off the alcohol too quickly. Peter would bet all his money on the latt er. 

“Fine.” Peter got up and was looking for something. He found a bottle of beer and took it back to Ned. Within ten minutes he had downed it. The buzz that someone would feel after drinking alcohol, didn’t effect Peter, but he wanted to see what he was missing out on.So he went to find another one. 

“Yo! Parker is getting hammered!” Peter heard someone call out, Peter had a suspicion that it was an already drunk Flash that had said it.

Way past his eighth drink, he started to feel a buzz. He was consuming alcohol at a rate where is metabolism couldn’t burn it off as quickly. Peter was tipsy. It had taken about half the night, but he was getting somewhere. Peter was quick to find out that he was losing all of his reasoning. 

Ned was still drinking, and had no intentions to stop. Together, the pair walked around the house. They soon found a group of people playing beer pong. 

“Whose next?” A person jumped onto the table with there red cup in their hands. 

“I say Leeds and Parker!” Someone called out from the crowd. They all turned to look at the pair. Peter turned to smile at Ned and they made their way up to the table. 

The cups were being fulled. Peter swore that the liquid looked like water. But the water had to be some fancy-ass water, as it was in a tall glass bottle with a red cap and red labels. _Water will be good._ Peter thought to himself. 

The rules of the game were explained to the boys. “It’s not rocket science.” Peter snapped. 

Everyone watched as Ned threw the ball and it landed in one of the cups. Peter was quick to pick up the cup and down it. _Strange._ Peter thought. The water had burnt the back of his throat and made his chest feel warm. Whatever it was, it made the buzz in Peter’s head stronger. By the time Ned and Peter had called it quits, Ned had four cups left and Peter had no cups left. Peter couldn’t tell you the difference between left and right. 

-

“And then Mister. Stark jumped and split all of his coffee all over himself!” Everyone laughed around Peter. “Then he said ‘don’t you ever do that again kid’.” Peter had tired to make mimic Tony’s voice, but failed miserably failed. 

“Hey Penis!” Flash called out. “You don’t even know Tony Stark, stop trying so hard to be cool.” 

The insult weren’t anything out of the ordinary. Flash had never believed Peter about knowing Tony Stark, no one really did, there was no reason for anyone to not believe Peter, but it seemed a little . The only people that had believed him at school were Ned and Michelle. 

“He does know him!” Ned fired back before Peter could step in. 

“Prove it.” Flash puffed out his chest and crossed him arms over, he had a very smug look on his face (but when didn’t he). 

All rational thinking left Peter, and very quickly, Peter pulled out his phone. Everyone around leaned in and were very interested. He was quick to video call Mister Stark. The fact that it was three-thirty in the morning meant nothing to Peter as he waited for Mister Stark to pick up. 

A very tried, but still put-together, Tony Stark appeared on Peter’s phone screen. In the background people gasped. 

“Kid, why are you up this early?” Tony frowned at the kid. 

“My friends didn’t believe me when I said I knowed you.” Peter slurred. His mind was a jumble of different things. 

Tony knew he had his suit taken off him by his Aunt, and he knew when to spot a drunk when he saw one. It was like there was a switch in Tony, and he went into ‘dad mode’ as Peter called it. In a flash, Tony was up and getting changed into some clean clothes. 

“Where are you kid?” Tony ran and grabbed the first set of car keys he could find. “Scratch that, FRIDAY, can you track Peter?” 

“Me and Ned were just walking and now here we are!” Peter smiled at his father-figure. “Soz, Mister Stark, I have to go.” The video call went dead between Tony and Peter. 

When he had hopped into the car, FRIDAY had already programmed the GPS in the car to Peter’s location. Without hesitation, Tony sped out onto the streets of New York. 

-

In the time that Tony had gotten to Peter’s location. The kid had almost drunken another whole bottle of vodka. When Tony walked through the house, he heard cheering in the backyard. There he saw Peter stand blindfolded as people threw things at him, and with his quick reflexes, he caught everything. Granted, he was fumbling about and tripping over his own feet. _So much for keeping his identity a secret,_ Tony thought bitterly. _Yet again, everyone whose watching him are probably to drunk to remember._

Peter had taken off his blindfold and he saw Tony standing in the background. In a perfect flip, the boy got off the table, he had spun so fast that Tony would have thought that he would have thrown up. 

“Mr Stark!” He called out. Everyone in the group turned and looked back at the billionaire. “What are you doing here?” 

“I thought to come and get you.” Tony crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Oh no.” Peter deadpanned. “I know that look. It’s the disappointed dad look.” 

“Kid, come here.” Tony sighed. “Or your lab privileges will be taken away.” Tony added on when he saw the kid not making any attempt to move. 

A sulking Peter came over to Tony, not before he knelt down and picked up a bottle of vodka that he was drinking. A little too toughly, Tony pulled Peter by his arm and out of the house. In the corner of his eye, Tony saw the kid bring the bottle up to his lips to have another drink. 

“Don’t you dare.” Tony said sternly. “Or your suit will be on lockdown.” 

“You can’t do that.” Peter turned to Tony. “Because-“ Peter turned to whisper in Tony’s ear. “I’m Spiderman.” 

“You wanna bet Spiderling?” 

Before Peter could reply. He bent over and threw up all over Tony’s shoes. 

“You’re lucky I love you kid.” 

-

Peter woke up the next day in a completely blacked out room. As his senses came to him, he realised his bed was way too soft and he must have been at the tower. 

“Mr Parker, there is a glass of water and some pain killers on the bedside table.” FRIDAY told Peter, but was mindful and spoke quietly. 

The spilting headache hit him at once. Peter groaned and rolled over in the bed. What had ever happened last night, was not happening again, ever. Alcohol was officially of the charts for Peter, he didn’t even want to smell the alcohol. He was forever grateful for his enhanced metabolism and healing, because he didn’t have the overwhelming need to throw up. He sat up in his bed and all of the sheets and blankets pooled at his waist. He reached over to the side table and picked up the water and painkillers. 

As his metabolism burnt through all everything, he had to have a special, modified, stronger painkiller than the stuff you would get in hospitals. Morphine barely took the edge off a headache for Peter. It had been a lot of trial and error, they had first started with Captain America’s painkillers and were quick to find out that Peter burnt through them too quickly, it had taken Helen and Bruce months before they had finally gotten something for Peter. 

Peter’s pills were especially colour coded, a solid blue colour. It was so they could tell instantly which ones were Peter’s and not accidentally hand them to the wrong person and potentially kill them of drug overdose.

Peter put the pill in his mouth and took a quick swig of his drink, and pulled the covers off him. He walked through his room and found a hoodie thrown over the back of the chair at his paper and clutter-filled desk. It was one of Tony’s old MIT hoodies which Peter had swiped from him months ago. 

Peter walked down the hallway and made it to the kitchen. Tony was sitting on the couch with a StarkPad in his hands and was working on something. 

“Morning Spider-Baby.” Tony said to Peter without looking up from his work. Sometimes, Peter wondered if it was Tony that had a spider-sense, not Peter. Every time Peter was in the room, Tony would know instantly. It was like Tony had a Peter-sense. But Peter had a sneaky suspicion that FRIDAY had something to do with it. 

“What happened?” Peter asked. The night before was hazy. Peter could remember knocking back drink after drink, but by the eighth, or was it tenth, Peter couldn’t remember anything. 

“Y’know just typical underage drinking.” Tony was ready to give Peter a lashing. If it wasn’t for his inhuman abilities, he would be either in a hospital having his stomach pumped, or dead. There was no way that a normal human being could consume that much alcohol and not get alcohol poisoning. “Do you even remember anything?” 

“No. It’s all hazy after my tenth drink.” 

“And you didn’t think to stop?” 

“No.” 

Tony sighed. He couldn’t rip into the kid without being a hypocrite, he had started drinking just as he started college and hadn’t stopped. But he wanted Peter to be better than him. In many ways, Peter was. He was selfless, a genius and his moral compass rivaled that of Steve’s (as much as Steve Rogers was a sore spot for Tony). It was like the kid had all the good traits of the Avengers. He was the best of them all, but you could never get Peter to actually admit it. 

“I’m not going to yell at you,” Tony looked Peter in the eyes. “I’m disappointed in you, you should know better.” Tony paused. “Speaking from experience kid, I don’t want you make the same mistakes that I did.” 

Peter’s headache was so bad, he suspected a marching band was doing an encore in his head. Peter groaned and fell back into the couch. “You don’t have to worry.” Peter replied. “I’m never doing that again. Ever.”

Tony nodded. Maybe the excessive drinking actually did some good. Perhaps Peter had drunken enough a for him to be put off for life. It still didn’t disguise the fact Peter had drunken underage. The anger Tony felt returned. Peter was smart, he was top of his class, and universities were looking into him, trying to sag him for themselves. Tony also knew if Peter didn’t have his ‘internship’ with Stark Industries, there was bound to be interest from other companies. Someone could have spiked the drinks, but Peter’s enhanced sense of smell would have picked it up. So that meant, Peter had willingly drunken alcohol. 

“Why did you do it?” Tony looked at Peter. 

“I wondered if my metabolism would have burnt it off.” Peter admitted. “I burn off everything else so easily that I wondered if it could burn off alcohol, and how much I had to drink for me to get drunk.” 

“Well, you succeeded.” Tony had told Peter with anger burning in his words. “If you were a normal person, you could have very well died from alcohol poisoning. I had FRIDAY check.” It was that which frightened Tony the most, if Peter had been normal and not enhanced, he would have died from alcohol poisoning. Tony knew full and well how addictive alcohol, he didn’t want Peter to fall into the trap. But he hoped, the killer hangover was enough to put Peter off for life. 

“I never realised. It was just too easy.” Tears started to well up in Peter’s eyes. It made him scared. He could have died. 

“I know.” Tony was quick to pull Peter into his chest for a hug. “I know. Just try and drink around someone you trust, someone that is able to tell you to stop.” Peter snuggled his head into Tony’s chest. “We’ve all made bad decisions, just try and not make a habit of it. My old heart can’t take it.” 

“You just said you’re old.” Peter mumbled. 

“I know Spiderling,” Tony smiled. “Just don’t tell anyone.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I've gotta say this sounded a lot better and looked a lot better in my head than in real life. Tbh this is kinda based off a sort of true story. This happened to me once. I was like 17 at the time and I literally drank my weight in alcohol, I called my dad at like 4 in the morning, we made it onto the road, and literally like 50 metres down the road we had to pull over and I threw up both inside the car and outside of the car. And I've got to say, I've never really gotten drunk since. Anyways now your blessed with both a bit of tmi about me and this trash fanfic.


End file.
